An Angel's Arrival - Eve's Birth Story

Usually speaking, by the fourth time you do something that you have successfully accomplished three times before, you feel confident or at the least not fearful about it. Not so with birthing a child. I’ve been concerned and fearful with each of my deliveries, and for good reasons as you never know how exactly it will pan out. 

A baby’s delivery is probably the humblest experience in my opinion. You have to accept that you are not completely in control and in my case, I always rely on my Heavenly Father. I try to be in a state of prayer and communion with Him. And I feel Him and his help all throughout the labor. I’ve been blessed to birth all of my children unmedicated, which has allowed me to feel more in control, yet what’s needed to have a better birthing experience if to be yielding, to accept that anything can happen, as we continue to hope for the best outcome.

Jul 15th - last picture of my belly 

I was especially worried about this baby because she seemed bigger than all my other ones to me, probably based on my belly being the biggest. That worried me; delivering her vaginally and without an epidural might be even harder than before. Luckily though, the week before she came and because last weeks of pregnancy can bring about insomnia and feeling uncomfortable for hours, I ended up watching many YouTube videos on the Lamaze method. These videos are informing and educating the public of why a natural birth as well as providing some suggestions for tools and things to do during the labor. I am so glad I took the time to brush up on these as they came in handy so much during my labor.

My first contraction hit exactly 24 hrs before she was born, on July 15^th at 4:00 am. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, I assumed it was the regular back pain I had been feeling for weeks by then. But when the second one hit, it became clear that it was the real thing. As soon as I became aware of it, my body started shaking and I recognize it to be out of fear. I believe it was going through some sorts of PTSD from my past labors, especially from the last one, which was most intense and only a year ago. Although the contractions kept coming, I was committed of not going to the hospital sooner than needed, and I prepared to be at home for most of my labor. Not knowing whether that would be a few hrs or another whole day, was another thing.

Our last photo as a family of five 

Throughout most of the day my contractions came and went, at times being more intense and often, only to slow down again. I went about my day cleaning up and getting ready, eating some good meals, and spending time with the family. My mom flew in that evening, which would bring a lot of relief, knowing that we could now leave for the hospital and the other kids would be well taken care of.

I tried sleeping some, from 11-12:30 am, as I felt exhausted. But I was woken up past midnight and I got up walking around the house in the dark, trying to keep quiet to not wake up the rest. When my contractions got too intense, I realized how silly it was trying to keep quiet when I needed all the tools I had prepared to better handle the pain. So, I turned on some lights, turned on my playlist on YouTube and I even pulled out a cute baby dress to serve me as a focus point. When I used the extra stimuli during the contractions, especially watching the YouTube clips of the songs I was listening to, it did indeed lessen the pain and the contractions felt shorter to me.

My mom would wake up from time to time to check on me, and I would report that nothing has happened yet (I was expecting my mucus plug to come out or my water to break). When I threw up twice in a row, the only reaction my body had to the increased pain I was experiencing, then my mom said we should head to the hospital. I thought I could wait it out longer, but I learned long ago to listen to my mom’s intuitions. So, I went to inform Ethan that we needed to go. 

Applying the Lamaze breathing during my contractions

We left around 2:40 am, got to the hospital around 3:00 am. I stayed in bed for aprox. 30 min to be checked both me and the baby, and then I got up to move around. Things started progressing very quickly, I threw up one more time, then my water broke all while standing at the head of the bed. When I felt the baby drop, I told them she is coming and that I wanted to have her while standing.

My midwife applying pressure when each contraction hit.
She was amazing, supportive and so capable. 

My amazing midwife got ready, and even though it did not feel like I was dilated enough yet, I started focusing all my pain when the contraction hit to push her out. It took three pushes and out she was. That was an hour later since when we were admitted, at 4:05 am. She was a little pale and it took a little while to cry, which it is always so nerve racking to me. They placed her under the lights and started patting her to make sure she got enough oxygen. I got back on the bed and was so relieved when I didn’t need any stiches (thanks to one of the Lamaze videos I learned that it’s best to deliver while standing up, since gravity will help and there will be less damage). Then I got little Eve on my chest and she breastfed for over 40 minutes.

Like I said, you never know what it’s going to happen during your delivery!

Eve Ryan Kirk - born on July 16th at 4:05 am
Weight of 7 lbs 4 oz and 19 in long 

Books on Taking Care of Your Baby - My Collection

Recently I had a few different friends ask about some of the books I have briefly shared with them before. So I wrote this post for them and anyone else that may want to check out some baby books that I've found helpful and insightful.

The order I chose for the books has to do with the chronological order you'd probably implement them. I will give a short description and share some of the things I learned. Truth be told, I am still in the process of reading each one of them, but I feel like I have a good grasp on each one.

1. YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S FIRST TEACHER by Rahima Baldwin Dancy

This book it's a good first read because it provides a great background on the relationship you and your child will develop. It describes each stage the child goes through and it's useful in giving you heads up on what to expect. This knowledge will hopefully help you avoid some frustrations or thinking that you're doing something wrong.

What I learned:
- All children develop more or less the same between birth and 8 months old; the greatest impact your influence will make on them is between 8 months to 3 years old, when they'll actually change the most they ever will.
- They love it most seeing and hearing their mother speak to them; this was really sweet to learn, as I had a feeling it's good that I am around Emilia so much, but having the confirmation, has made me want to talk to her and hold her even more.
- She says that the excessive baby gear prevents parents from bonding with their baby; she advocates against the use of car seats outside of what they are made for, when travelling in the car; also she doesn't encourage walkers and bouncers.
- An American mom will only touch her baby an average of twice an hour, while a Puerto Rican mother will touch her baby 180 times an hour. A French mom touches her child 3 times more than an American one.
- And my favorite one, she encourages mothers to dress their child warm for their first year of life. And this was a piece of information I was really happy to read about, because ever since I was in college and I was exposed to American parenting through the students that had kids already, I would get infuriated when seeing how lightly those babies were dressed. The parents were more bundled up than them.

Now you see why I like this book; she addresses things that I feel are important and which are not usually talked about much.

2. INFANT POTTY TRAINING (or a concise version, INFANT POTTY BASICS) by Laurie Boucke 
So before you're baffled and appalled about this topic you should really see what is about and the motivation behind it.
I was referred to this book by a friend who saw on FB that I was going to attempt potty training my daughter who was 5 months at a time.
This method refers to a type of potty training, ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION, based on being in tune with your baby and listening to her natural cycle of elimination and responding to it.

What I Learned:
- Most moms will identify early on after coming home from the hospital the time when their baby will go potty, based on timing alone and/or facial expressions.
- Through the standard procedure we train babies to go potty in their diapers, only to have to undo it later on.

- Through this method, each time you know the child will go peeing or pooping, you place a receptacle under them; I actually learned that I was a bit late starting with my daughter at 5 months, and that this should be done all the way up to 4-5 months, starting as early as 2 weeks.
- Whenever they go peeing you make a Ssssshhhhsss sound, and they'll soon start associating it with peeing; and when they go number 2, you make a grunting face and help them go.
- This is not a forceful method by any means, and for the contrary, it bonds the mother and baby in a very special way. The method is not for all moms, it takes a special type of commitment.
- The motivation should not be to outdo other moms or compete with them, it's about doing what is best for your child and help them function to their potential; when their signals are ignored, they'll stop sending them altogether.

My experience so far:
After I started putting Emilia on the potty at around 5 months and 2 weeks, it took her less than a week to associate peeing with being on the potty. She will try to play around and anything around us will get her distracted, so I try to hide it all. I make the Sshssshhh sound and she goes if it's her time to go. I put her on the potty in the morning when she wakes up and after a quick feeding, after each nap, and in between if we're at home and I sense it's about time. As for pooping, she's been going on demand since the first week. It may be because she's not going very often anyway and when she does she needs some encouragement and tummy massaging. If you're worried that your baby is too little to sit on a porter potty, I used some puppy training pads when she was 5 months old. They worked great because she started disassociating going potty in a diaper, and the air flow helped as well. We now use about 2-3 diapers a day, sometimes including her over night one.

Very important is to not push them if they are not cooperating anymore. If she gets bored and unsettled I take her off and will try again later. Even the book advises to not obsessed over having your baby trained early, and that the bond between you and your baby is more important than having them trained.

I would say that if you're open to it to give it a shot. Everyone seems to have an opinion on it even though they've never tried it, but unless you try it, you won't know what it's about. And I tell you what, there's not much more satisfaction in life than when you've been able to make your baby poop in the porter potty all before 6 months old.

3. SUPER BABY FOOD by Ruth Yaron
Like many first-time moms I felt unprepared when I started feeding my baby solids. For us that was at 5 months old. This book is a great resource to identify when it's a good time to start your baby on solids, and what to feed them and how.

What I Learned:
- Recommended to start them on solids between 4-6 months, before then not only their body and digestive system is immature, but they also cannot refuse food, not turning their head when they're full. You can easily overfeed them, which can lead to obesity and other serious problems later on as adults.
- Feeding them too early may also lead to developing certain allergies.
- You don't want to wait later than 8 months to start on solids; if later than that they may not like the textures and refuse it all together.
- It's based on making all food at home, not only it's healthiest for your baby but it ends up being cheaper too, even when using all organic foods (which it does encourage to do)
- Best method to cook the veggies is to steam them in a steamer and then blend it with some of the water that cooked it. You can make bigger quantities, then freeze it in an ice tray, then you take the cubes and place in a ziplock bag.
- Eating size per serving when you start them is about an ice cube worth of pureed food, which you can microwave.
- You first feed them some milk, so they're not starving, then give them the solid, then you give them some water (it will help with their liver processing the solids), and that's really one or two teaspoons, and then you finish with a milk feeding.
- It talks about child proofing your home and it even teaches how to make homemade and safe cleaning agents (I haven't gotten to that yet, but I'm thinking to try it)
- Do not keep trying to feed the baby if they don't like the food; you can try feed it again in a week or two. And do not insist with that last spoonful if they don't want it, better to toss it away than to overfeed your baby.
- Do not use the sippy cups for any types of foods, use it only for water and milk if bottle fed.
- If the baby touched the food in a container, do not save it for later, their saliva could produce bacteria and spoil it even when refrigerated.

4. HOLDING TIME by Martha G. Welch, MD
I was given this book by a friend who is a triplet and her mom had to really focus on holding each one of them and making sure they each received needed attention. This book is more applicable when they become toddlers and specially if you have another baby. It's meant to help prevent tantrums and sibling rivalry, and produce happy mothers and loving, self-confident children.

What I Learned: 
- You set aside an hour or close to an hour, in a quiet spot in your home, where you and your child will have alone time with each other.
- You hold them on your lap facing you, and you start talking and discussing any differences.
- Instead of time outs, you actually discipline them at first and talk to them about why they acted the way they did, and why they think that was wrong and hurtful.
- After you both share things which are difficult to discuss (it actually says that at first they may fight you, and yell at you, but to not give up)
- Following the more rambunctious interaction between the two of you, then comes a state of calmness and openness and love between the two of you. You make up and continue to be close to each other, often times they'll fall asleep in your arms.
- This creates a pattern for the child knowing they will have that alone time with their mother (father and other family members are encouraged to do it too, but it's most helpful when the mom does it) and it makes them feel safe emotionally.

Sneak Peek: Upcoming post with the baby products I'm using.