Sunday, May 19, 2019

Ellis Ethan Kirk - Birth story

I can hardly believe that here I am ready to write the birth story of my third child and first boy!
Ellis Ethan Kirk was due to be born on May 15th, but this pregnancy felt much tougher than the previous ones and I was visibly bigger with him that I was really hoping he'd follow in his sisters' footsteps and come 5-6 days early.

He was kind enough to do so. But the trick was to also not be born on Emi's birthday, on May 9th, because she is all abt her birthday and we didn't think she'd like to share that day with anyone.
So on May 9th things went as planned, we celebrated Emilia as planned for. Until dinner time that was, when we went to a restaurant to celebrate her and I started feeling my first contraction. More have followed and we decided to take the girls home and leave them with my mom who had arrived in town the day before (she has great timing on these things, same thing happened when I had Emi).

We went to the hospital around 8:00 pm as we didn't want to wait at home too long (Addie was born pretty fast and we didn't want to take that risk). But almost as soon as we got to the hospital my contractions just about stopped, and we couldn't even leave before an hour from arrival so they could run more tests. At 9:00 pm we left to come home and wait some more. That was a good move as Ethan was able to get more sleep, not me though. And I could have really used some, as the night before, when my mom got into town we stayed up until 3:00 am (not a smart move at all, had I known I wouldn't get any sleep for the next 35+ hours).

But I ended up eating seeds and talking with my mom as contractions started to be closer and stronger. Then I tried to lie in bed for some rest, but I was reacting to each contraction, and that's when Ethan woke up and said we should head back to the hospital. I thought we could wait some more, but he insisted we left then.

When I was checked I was still at a 3 cm dilatation, same I had been all day, but they took me (they had better, it was 3:00 am by then). The midwife also came in, and this was my first time being seen and delivering with midwives. And they have definitely exceeded my expectations. First of all, they were with me the whole time, I expected her to leave the room as docs always do, but she was just waiting there with me (which at first made me feel a bit pressured to move along faster), and then she asked if I wanted help when I felt the contractions, and she started putting pressure on certain points depending on my position. That helped a lot actually, and then morally it also helped to have someone involved at that level. She knew I didn't want a medicated birth and helped me progress and work through the pain all along.

But after two or so hours I was still a 3-4 cm dilated and no water rupture so she asked if I wanted my water broken. My first thought was no, cause I didn't want to mess with the course of things, but I also wanted things to start moving along considering how painful the contractions were at that point. So around 5:45 am she broke my water, and she noticed he had pooped inside, and that motivated me to work through the pain and keep progressing.

My first midwife's shift ended at 7:00 am and although I had hoped he'd come during her shift (she told me the next midwife although qualified for deliveries, wasn't yet fully certified as a midwife, and I thought, oh great, what if she won't be as good as her). But the next one was also very hands on, helping me, she was skinny and couldn't put as much pressure during the contractions as the first one did, but she talked to me and that was soothing.

When I got to a 6 cm I really started hurting like nothing I've felt before, and within the hour I got to a 10. I kept feeling that it was humanly impossible the pain I was going through and when will it end. I also threw up three times (usually my quota is twice) I screamed like never before, poor Ethan he was of course present through it all, the medical staff had to pin me down and tell me to stop yelling and focus all the pain. Which I tried doing, and that's when I pushed with my whole strength once, and I guess his head came out but was stuck on his shoulder, and then I had to push again. The sensation was as if my body was coming inside out, and I was yelling to just pull him out because I couldn't do it, but low and behold I did do it. He was born at 8:14 am on May 10th.

I didn't experience a high, I think I was too traumatized from all the pain. Then passing the placenta was way more painful than the times before, and so was the stitching. I hate that part almost more than the delivery.
It was my first time I had actually questioned my decision of going without an epidural. I don't think I was mentally as prepared as my first delivery. I think I had assumed since I had done it twice that I had this one too, but it was about a third if not more, more painful and more intense. I thought I had gone through what was humanly impossible pain my two previous times, but it turns out we can take more than we even think.

I was asked by a few friends if I would do it all naturally all over again, and my answer is a definite YES, all in all my labor lasted only 5 hours, and to me I'd rather go through smtg intense which is quick rather than drag it for hours more. I also like being in control all through it, and at this point I am more freaked out by the needle going in my back and the paralysis sensation.