An Angel's Arrival - Eve's Birth Story

Usually speaking, by the fourth time you do something that you have successfully accomplished three times before, you feel confident or at the least not fearful about it. Not so with birthing a child. I’ve been concerned and fearful with each of my deliveries, and for good reasons as you never know how exactly it will pan out. 

A baby’s delivery is probably the humblest experience in my opinion. You have to accept that you are not completely in control and in my case, I always rely on my Heavenly Father. I try to be in a state of prayer and communion with Him. And I feel Him and his help all throughout the labor. I’ve been blessed to birth all of my children unmedicated, which has allowed me to feel more in control, yet what’s needed to have a better birthing experience if to be yielding, to accept that anything can happen, as we continue to hope for the best outcome.

Jul 15th - last picture of my belly 

I was especially worried about this baby because she seemed bigger than all my other ones to me, probably based on my belly being the biggest. That worried me; delivering her vaginally and without an epidural might be even harder than before. Luckily though, the week before she came and because last weeks of pregnancy can bring about insomnia and feeling uncomfortable for hours, I ended up watching many YouTube videos on the Lamaze method. These videos are informing and educating the public of why a natural birth as well as providing some suggestions for tools and things to do during the labor. I am so glad I took the time to brush up on these as they came in handy so much during my labor.

My first contraction hit exactly 24 hrs before she was born, on July 15^th at 4:00 am. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, I assumed it was the regular back pain I had been feeling for weeks by then. But when the second one hit, it became clear that it was the real thing. As soon as I became aware of it, my body started shaking and I recognize it to be out of fear. I believe it was going through some sorts of PTSD from my past labors, especially from the last one, which was most intense and only a year ago. Although the contractions kept coming, I was committed of not going to the hospital sooner than needed, and I prepared to be at home for most of my labor. Not knowing whether that would be a few hrs or another whole day, was another thing.

Our last photo as a family of five 

Throughout most of the day my contractions came and went, at times being more intense and often, only to slow down again. I went about my day cleaning up and getting ready, eating some good meals, and spending time with the family. My mom flew in that evening, which would bring a lot of relief, knowing that we could now leave for the hospital and the other kids would be well taken care of.

I tried sleeping some, from 11-12:30 am, as I felt exhausted. But I was woken up past midnight and I got up walking around the house in the dark, trying to keep quiet to not wake up the rest. When my contractions got too intense, I realized how silly it was trying to keep quiet when I needed all the tools I had prepared to better handle the pain. So, I turned on some lights, turned on my playlist on YouTube and I even pulled out a cute baby dress to serve me as a focus point. When I used the extra stimuli during the contractions, especially watching the YouTube clips of the songs I was listening to, it did indeed lessen the pain and the contractions felt shorter to me.

My mom would wake up from time to time to check on me, and I would report that nothing has happened yet (I was expecting my mucus plug to come out or my water to break). When I threw up twice in a row, the only reaction my body had to the increased pain I was experiencing, then my mom said we should head to the hospital. I thought I could wait it out longer, but I learned long ago to listen to my mom’s intuitions. So, I went to inform Ethan that we needed to go. 

Applying the Lamaze breathing during my contractions

We left around 2:40 am, got to the hospital around 3:00 am. I stayed in bed for aprox. 30 min to be checked both me and the baby, and then I got up to move around. Things started progressing very quickly, I threw up one more time, then my water broke all while standing at the head of the bed. When I felt the baby drop, I told them she is coming and that I wanted to have her while standing.

My midwife applying pressure when each contraction hit.
She was amazing, supportive and so capable. 

My amazing midwife got ready, and even though it did not feel like I was dilated enough yet, I started focusing all my pain when the contraction hit to push her out. It took three pushes and out she was. That was an hour later since when we were admitted, at 4:05 am. She was a little pale and it took a little while to cry, which it is always so nerve racking to me. They placed her under the lights and started patting her to make sure she got enough oxygen. I got back on the bed and was so relieved when I didn’t need any stiches (thanks to one of the Lamaze videos I learned that it’s best to deliver while standing up, since gravity will help and there will be less damage). Then I got little Eve on my chest and she breastfed for over 40 minutes.

Like I said, you never know what it’s going to happen during your delivery!

Eve Ryan Kirk - born on July 16th at 4:05 am
Weight of 7 lbs 4 oz and 19 in long 

Ellis Ethan Kirk - Birth story

I can hardly believe that here I am ready to write the birth story of my third child and first boy!
Ellis Ethan Kirk was due to be born on May 15th, but this pregnancy felt much tougher than the previous ones and I was visibly bigger with him that I was really hoping he'd follow in his sisters' footsteps and come 5-6 days early.

He was kind enough to do so. But the trick was to also not be born on Emi's birthday, on May 9th, because she is all abt her birthday and we didn't think she'd like to share that day with anyone.
So on May 9th things went as planned, we celebrated Emilia as planned for. Until dinner time that was, when we went to a restaurant to celebrate her and I started feeling my first contraction. More have followed and we decided to take the girls home and leave them with my mom who had arrived in town the day before (she has great timing on these things, same thing happened when I had Emi).

We went to the hospital around 8:00 pm as we didn't want to wait at home too long (Addie was born pretty fast and we didn't want to take that risk). But almost as soon as we got to the hospital my contractions just about stopped, and we couldn't even leave before an hour from arrival so they could run more tests. At 9:00 pm we left to come home and wait some more. That was a good move as Ethan was able to get more sleep, not me though. And I could have really used some, as the night before, when my mom got into town we stayed up until 3:00 am (not a smart move at all, had I known I wouldn't get any sleep for the next 35+ hours).

But I ended up eating seeds and talking with my mom as contractions started to be closer and stronger. Then I tried to lie in bed for some rest, but I was reacting to each contraction, and that's when Ethan woke up and said we should head back to the hospital. I thought we could wait some more, but he insisted we left then.

When I was checked I was still at a 3 cm dilatation, same I had been all day, but they took me (they had better, it was 3:00 am by then). The midwife also came in, and this was my first time being seen and delivering with midwives. And they have definitely exceeded my expectations. First of all, they were with me the whole time, I expected her to leave the room as docs always do, but she was just waiting there with me (which at first made me feel a bit pressured to move along faster), and then she asked if I wanted help when I felt the contractions, and she started putting pressure on certain points depending on my position. That helped a lot actually, and then morally it also helped to have someone involved at that level. She knew I didn't want a medicated birth and helped me progress and work through the pain all along.

But after two or so hours I was still a 3-4 cm dilated and no water rupture so she asked if I wanted my water broken. My first thought was no, cause I didn't want to mess with the course of things, but I also wanted things to start moving along considering how painful the contractions were at that point. So around 5:45 am she broke my water, and she noticed he had pooped inside, and that motivated me to work through the pain and keep progressing.

My first midwife's shift ended at 7:00 am and although I had hoped he'd come during her shift (she told me the next midwife although qualified for deliveries, wasn't yet fully certified as a midwife, and I thought, oh great, what if she won't be as good as her). But the next one was also very hands on, helping me, she was skinny and couldn't put as much pressure during the contractions as the first one did, but she talked to me and that was soothing.

When I got to a 6 cm I really started hurting like nothing I've felt before, and within the hour I got to a 10. I kept feeling that it was humanly impossible the pain I was going through and when will it end. I also threw up three times (usually my quota is twice) I screamed like never before, poor Ethan he was of course present through it all, the medical staff had to pin me down and tell me to stop yelling and focus all the pain. Which I tried doing, and that's when I pushed with my whole strength once, and I guess his head came out but was stuck on his shoulder, and then I had to push again. The sensation was as if my body was coming inside out, and I was yelling to just pull him out because I couldn't do it, but low and behold I did do it. He was born at 8:14 am on May 10th.

I didn't experience a high, I think I was too traumatized from all the pain. Then passing the placenta was way more painful than the times before, and so was the stitching. I hate that part almost more than the delivery.

It was my first time I had actually questioned my decision of going without an epidural. I don't think I was mentally as prepared as my first delivery. I think I had assumed since I had done it twice that I had this one too, but it was about a third if not more, more painful and more intense. I thought I had gone through what was humanly impossible pain my two previous times, but it turns out we can take more than we even think.

I was asked by a few friends if I would do it all naturally all over again, and my answer is a definite YES, all in all my labor lasted only 5 hours, and to me I'd rather go through smtg intense which is quick rather than drag it for hours more. I also like being in control all through it, and at this point I am more freaked out by the needle going in my back and the paralysis sensation.