How May 14th turned into May 9th - Emilia's Birth Story

It may have been the case that Emilia was going to come five days earlier anyway, but when Gigi, aka, mom and now grandma, came into town, the following day she took me shopping for…oh, about five hours.

My first strong contractions happened on Wed. May 7^th around 8:00 pm when we were shopping at our last store. I was barely pushing the cart, leaning on it for strength and to be able to walk, and I could hear but not see mom asking questions to the shop assistant. I kept yelling for her, but she couldn’t hear me. I ended up going over and telling her that I was hurting and we needed to leave right then.

That night I couldn’t really sleep, and that wasn’t new as I’ve had sleepless nights for three or four months now, but this time was different –every few minutes I felt pain. Around 3 am I went and woke up mom letting her know I was in pain. She told me it was near then, as these were contractions. I didn’t know what to make of it and I was trying to deal with it one by one. After a while I woke up Ethan too, letting him know we may need to go to the hospital, but not yet.

As morning settled in, they started to be more spread out and weak, I was even able to sleep some in-between the pain. So what did we do the morning which turned out to be my early labor – we went to get our manicure and pedicure, as that was part of the plan to do so before the baby came.

 The morning of May 8th, before leaving to get our manis and pedis. 

 I was hurting even here, although that foot massage helped some, and I walked it off a few times. The women there said that I’d better not have my baby in their saloon. 

I assured them I didn’t want that either.

Later afternoon I had a doctor’s appointment so we came home and I got ready for the appointment, starting to hurt more regularly. I even asked mom to take some pictures of my big belly as this may be the last day of my pregnancy.

 My last pregnancy pictures, the afternoon of May 8th, in front of our apartment. 

At the doctor they checked and I was only 1.5 cm dilated. I asked them if my contractions were fake, but when describing it to them, they said they sounded as being real, and that I need to wait until they were five mins apart, one minute long for an hour.

Of course mom took me shopping one more store before coming home. At her favorite store - Ross. By then I was hurting more regularly and had to sit down as she finished purchasing more stuff.

What’s interesting about being in contractions is that everything can set you off. So in my case it was mom’s driving which was bothering me. I was pretty mean to her, and she took it silently, she must have known it was the pain. Before coming home, though, we had to make one more stop, - limeade and tres leche dessert  from Café Rio.

It was somewhat comforting to drink and chew on ice. Except that when coming home and having increased contractions, I threw up all that limeade. But it felt somewhat relieving.

By the time Ethan made it home from work, around 6 or 6:30 pm I was really in pain. Each time the contractions started I screamed. But they were still not five minutes apart. We turned on the tv, watched that 70 show, the distraction helped me some. I ended up in the nursery, which felt comforting and it was motivating being in her room, using her furniture as a focus point.

We then started writing down the frequency and length of each contraction, and it was getting close. I was standing, dancing, stretching on Enigma music (my zen music), and screaming some more.

Mom suggested we should go to the hospital. Ethan insisted we needed to make sure the contractions were frequent enough, and that I had asked him for months not to take me too early to the hospital since that may sabotage my chances for a natural birth. I agreed with him, and decided to wait a bit longer.

I then threw up again, this time I could feel something inside was different - the baby was more active. I told them that we can start getting ready. When my water broke at 9:40ish pm I knew that was the time. We packed up and rushed to the car.

The drive to the hospital is only 10 or 12 min long, but it felt forever. The breeze from the outside helped some, but the pain intensified and I was screaming.

By the time we entered the hospital mom had to walk me through as Ethan had to park the car. We went upstairs to check in. I was getting angry they were actually pondering whether to check me in or not. Ethan was on the phone with the on-call doctor who was asking questions.

We had to go to a triage room as a delivery room wasn’t ready. I was checked in at 10:30pm. By now I was screaming and hanging on the advice the nurses gave me about breathing through the contractions. The doctor came and confirmed I was ready to check into the hospital. She asked me some questions to which I suggested she should just take a look at my birthplan. She then asked if I wanted any drugs, that since I had a birthplan she thought I wouldn’t. I ask what type of Epidural they administered, and whether I would be able to walk right after. She said they only administered the full-on one and that I wouldn’t be able to walk right afterwards. I looked at my mom who nodded, in saying No to her. I looked at Ethan who didn’t show any attitude towards or against it.

I then said I wasn’t planning on any drugs, and that unless the baby’s life would be threaten I wouldn’t want any. She checked me and being 4 cm dilated, she warned me I would be in labor all night and that I would most likely be delivering morning time.

Mom disagreed and having the advantage of talking with me in Romanian, said it’ll be before 4 am and not to worry, that I could do it.

They took me into the labor room; it was probably 11:00 pm by now. The nurse administered the iv as I was dehydrated and she said it would help with the delivery.  She also gave me some pointers on how to breathe. I was supposed to relax my shoulders  and breathe through what felt like high voltage going through my body, as a thunder. She said to breath like the letter J, through the contraction. I tried really hard to do just that.

Ethan and mom were close by, but during the contractions I couldn’t stand anything close to me. I would just wave them off, indicating I needed space. I started feeling as in a daze – It felt as if I was drifting.

I asked the nurse if she was going to check again to see how dilated I was. I wanted to gage how long this would take.  She said she would check me shortly. Then I asked if I should push, and she was surprise I would feel like pushing. She then checked and was almost shocked to see I was dilated at 10 cm already. She asked me no tot push so she could get the doctor. Now, I was freaked out I would deliver without them in the room.

The doctor came, around 12:10 am, and they prepared the room within minutes. The umbilical cord was twice wrapped around her neck, and they told me not to push but my body was already on automode and I did. At 12:21 Emilia came. Luckily, the stellar doctor assisting me, not even my regular doctor, but one who was on call, unwrapped it super fast. 

I knew it was over when all the sudden I could have Ethan and mom close by and enjoy their presence, the daze was over and I felt invigorated. Life had meaning again and it was all making sense.  They placed her on my chest after a light wiping. She was calm and very aware. Her eyes were big and wide-opened and she was just looking at me. It was the most amazing and rewarding experience of my life. It felt deeper and more rewarding than anything else.

 She was very much aware and present, staring straight up into my eyes. 

During the labor process I had an array of random thoughts which helped me stay motivated. First, it was thinking about God and praying to Him. I felt Him very much aware of me and of what I was going through. Secondly, I thought of my earthly dad, and about his long-standing advice that when things get tough not to give up – that everyone feels that way too, but not giving up when it feels like it will lead to success. I then thought of this NPR story I had heard days before of a guy who was blasted by a terrorist bombing in Peru. I remembered his description of the incredible pain he went through, and I thought that my pain was most likely much lower than his and that at least mine was natural. I thought of women throughout time and how they each have gone through this pain as well, and that I could do it too. I remembered images of home births from a video we watched early in the pregnancy. Ethan's encouragement towards the end to experience the pain thoroughly and feel it in the moment also made me want to do just that. It definitely paid off working on him earlier to have him on my side as a supporter. Without him and my mother I know I wouldn’t have trusted myself and the outcome might have been very different.

What I learned from my delivery experience is that if I have a big enough reason, I can attain anything. I also learned to trust my instincts and my body the most and disregard anyone else's experience or advice (even my doctors showed skepticism that I would be able to have a natural delivery). 

                                         

Emilia Noelle Kirk, born on May 9th 2014, at 12:21 am 

6 lbs 7 oz and 19.5 in (2,920 gr and 49 cm) 

Right before we left the hospital, on Sat. May 10th in the afternoon.