What being Christlike in the face of same-sex marriage legalization is to me

Never in my life have I wanted to be more Christlike and never in my life have I felt less equipped with knowing what that really is. 

I know we’re taught to act and think as Christ would. And although I am well-aware of it, many times I still gossip, I still spend more time on FB than I do reading my scriptures and many more examples of sort. But when dealing with the gay marriage situation, knowing how tough it is not to become judgmental and rough on those who are gay, but also being able to hold my ground and express my beliefs, it really left me with no direction but wanting really badly to act and do as Christ would.  

But this was tough too; would Christ have changed his FB profile pic to show solidarity and support for the gay community and the recent success? Maybe, but I don’t think so. I also don’t think he would have come very strongly against all those who support it. Christ has both forgiven and mourned with the sinners and those who were weak but he has also condemned the Pharisees, calling them vipers and sons of the devil. So once again, it makes it really tough figuring out how to deal with it all.

I was notified by the recent court’s decision on legalizing gay marriage all throughout the states by my well-informed, politically-savvy husband since being in RO that didn’t really make the news and no one cares abt it over there. 

At first I didn’t think much of it, because we’ve all known sooner or later it will become the standard. But then, all the sudden my FB page was flooded with rainbow pics and praises to the recent decision. My initial reaction was to counter it with articles or opinions which sat on the opposite side, criticizing the decision. I thought that I should be pro-active at defending and promoting traditional marriage. But then I thought abt it and realized that I don’t want to be that person, especially since my interaction with the majority of my FB friends is solely online, and I know how easy it is to be miss-portrayed when limited to cyber interaction.

Then I thought I should just keep quiet and not even participate in this discussion. But I realized it mostly came  from a fear of intolerance (funny enough) from the other side for simply stating what is true and important to me. And being afraid to talk and express opinions it’s not me, nor is it why I chose to live in the United States for that matter. If expressing my views, as unpopular as they are, is being intolerant of others, then America is no longer what it was initially made to be.

Pondering on it all, some scriptures came to my mind. Passages from the Book of Mormon which talk abt if the day comes when the majority of the people choose something which is not aligned with God’s gospel, that is should be granted unto to them. So I accept the reality of it, even though we’re not even sure what the voice of the people would have chosen, since it was ultimately decided by 5 judges, but let’s say it is what most people (50% plus 1) desire in the US, I believe it should be allowed, but what does this mean to me?

I’ve never established my values and beliefs based on what was popular or praised by the world. And of course my support of marriage between one man and one woman springs from my Mormon upbringing as well as being raised in a country like Romania, but ultimately the reason I believe in it comes from how I feel abt it internally. It just feels right to me - and no laws and outside pressure can make me feel otherwise once I internalize such truths.

Now, I’m also well-aware I never felt what a gay person feels nor have I struggled with anything like it, and that’s why I don’t accuse nor condemn the stand they take, I might have done the same in their shoes. And that’s why I was left with wanting to behave as Christ would in these circumstances.

I read 3 Nephi 14 in the Book of Mormon and I was hoping to find smtg in there to give me some answers since I even taught it on my mission that the Book of Mormon holds the answers to all of life’s questions.

This chapter starts with Christ addressing the Nephites, teaching similarly to his teachings in Jerusalem. He says: Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, ye shall be judged; …why beholdest thou the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?  And I thought, this is it, I shouldn’t judge them (gays, or gay supporters), I should focus on myself and all the work I have yet to accomplish to better myself. And then I read some more: Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet.  I know the language may come across as strong and demeaning, but I think it simply means not to bring up Godly things to those who may not even believe in a God. In other words, we cannot even hold a conversation on the matter if there is no point on reference, such as you don’t believe in a higher being, who I believe has established a way of living for us which is meant to bring us higher happiness. Or you have no standards of right and wrong, so everything can go.

And then finally it was in verse 12 that hit home to me, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them. And this is to me what being Christlike in the face of same-sex marriage legalization is.

• I desire not be judged nor demeaned because I still believe in traditional marriage, 
• I desire that people would give me a chance when they meet me rather than categorizing and rejecting me based on my beliefs, 
• I desire they don’t take it personally but consider and accept that the way I believe is a deep personal belief which has no intention of hurting or undermine who they are, 
• I desire they know and accept that I can still love them in spite of feeling differently about gay marriage. 

Applying the above principle, I also want to make sure I treat them as I wish to be treated.

I know that one day, in the eternities, we’ll look back on this and realize we all tried to do the best with what we knew and what we had, and that will be all that matters. I know God loves us all and maybe the reason we are dealing with all these issues and dilemmas, is not to try to convince each other to think and feel the same, but to see how well we treat each other in spite of strong differences.