I Love Her because she Loved Me first!

I started thinking more about my mother, not only because today was Mothers’ Day, but also because I’ve spent more time with her this week (we went shopping together, made cozonac – this Romanian crazy dessert which takes 5-6 hrs to make, and we weeded her garden), and I realized how much I really do enjoy spending time with her.

Being at church today, listening to talks on Moms, made me think of some of my mom’s traits that I admire and I would like to emulate, not just as a mother some day but also as a person.

Mom is curious – she wants to know a lot about my life.
Mom cares about every aspect of my life, she wants me to improve in every way.
She gets more pleasure from buying me something than for getting something great for herself.
She never gives up, even if it may be annoying to the rest of us, she is persistent – whether in making you try some food (when you clearly stated you weren’t going to have any), or solve some intricate, DMV or bureaucratic problem, she never gives up until she solves the issue.
Mom is best at finding stuff, you know the stuff that falls off the face of the earth with nowhere to be found, she magically finds it within seconds when you searched for minutes.
She rarely, if ever, says No – whether to helping for a late night school project that you’ve procrastinated on, or modifying that dress that I had to wear right the next day.
She’s never self-elevated herself, it’s never about HER.
My problems become her problems, instantly.
In spite of her love and care for me, she has this incredible objectivity when giving me advice, so she’s the first one to let me know that some piece of clothing doesn’t look good on me (when I inaccurately really think it does), or that I wasn’t the one right when arguing with someone.
We can and often do, gossip about everyone and everything.
She never stops talking, if she’s silent, then that’s bad – it makes our encounters way more entertaining, we also never get tired going over the same things at various times.
She’ll never stop forgiving us for making fun of her, for offending or even criticizing something she did etc.
Mom loves me unconditionally, always!

A Reoccurring Pattern in Politics

As an employee in the California State Capitol I have had the opportunity in the last week to hear numerous concerns by groups of various areas of activity, yet with same problem, of receiving a cut in their state funding proposed by the governor.
In my job description I usually do not take such meetings, although I found the experience of doing so quite revelatory in certain areas.

By the end of the 5th group in one single day, who has explained to me the importance of their own program and how the cut will be affecting the lives of many of those who are vulnerable and unable to help themselves, I was able to recognize a pattern.

First of all, each group, although they recognized and even acknowledged the general state of California and how is no longer able to afford all of these programs, they would even say that they’re aware each group maintains that their own cause is among most important, and therefore should not receive deep cuts, yet every single one of them would discount that reality entirely and persist in not having their program cut.

The second and probably most important trend it became very clear to me when listening to each of their challenges is the fact that most of the problems individuals are dealing with in our state could be alleviated and in a much better capacity than the government, by a nurturing, functional family environment.

It kind of hit me that over here, in the States, people have greater expectations and a sense of entitlement from their Government than they expect from their own families.

Maybe it is my upbringing in Romania, which even though it was in a Communist environment (up to when I was five years old) and healthcare and many other public programs were socialized, yet, I couldn’t remember people expecting any help from the Government in providing child care or transportation, or incentives to go to school etc. (there are so many such programs in California, I can’t even count).
What I remember from back home is that the grandparents would care for the children when the parents were at work, or the aunts and uncles, or in my case, if not living close to family, the neighbors would ensure you were fed and safe. And you know what effect this had…it brought us closer together as a community, and everyone was looking after each other.

What do we have instead in a place as California? angry parents and citizens who expect never-ending help from the state, or who refuse promotions and better jobs so that they continue to qualify for certain government programs. This does not seem as a healthy formula for success or progress in any society.
I have solid faith in individual capacity to get innovative and find ways to overcome own challenges. When doing so, that’s how they grow to their full potential and become strong people in society in whom one can trust. Ironically enough, all of these government programs meant to help and protect the vulnerable, end up crippling them by allowing and even encouraging them to see themselves as victims in society and therefore functioning to lower capacity, having as the end result a lack of human dignity and satisfaction of overcoming life’s challenges and obstacles.

In the place I have come from, people don’t have even a fraction of the opportunities that are over here. Education, most often, makes no difference in ensuring a good future, but most everyone I grew up around in the 18 years I lived in Romania, was a fighter. They tried their hardest to provide for their children and to take care of their families. No one expected anything from outside and as a result of it, even though most would be in the sad predicament of a monthly wage of a few hundred dollars, they were happy in knowing they were giving their best.

I wish people in our state would look outside of themselves and implement a new approach to life in overcoming challenges, one which does not resume to asking for more from our Government.

What Fascinates Me

One of my favorite things to do is talking with my married friends about the beginnings of their relationship. I love how different versions they each have, and how they contradict how it actually happened and which one of them was more into the other one.

But what I love the most is how excited they actually get talking about that stage of their relationship. I can see it in their eyes how some of that fire and excitement it is being rekindled. My guess is that if most if not all couples would go back in time at times and ponder on how incredible their relationship was and the miracle of them actually having ended up together, that they would withstand many of the present challenges of their relationship.

I truly believe in the power of rekindling that fire time and time again, I just wish more would see its beauty and power. And all it's needed is a will, I think. Anyway, I, once again, find it fascinating, the way each one of them ended up together with a complete stranger that had become a really good friend and eventually a companion. I love that process and I think it is one of the most powerful and beautiful things in our world.

No wonder there is so much attack on that tie between a man and a woman who have committed to each other for the rest of their lives. When they are strong as a couple, nothing can touch them, they are invincible. You weaken that bond and everything else crumbles...

Things That I've learned as of lately...

1. Desire Everything, Need Nothing!

2. We are three-dimensional beings: body, mind and spirit, and we should work towards expanding all three in this life.

3. Everything occurring in the Universe it’s occurring perfectly!

4. Give Everything, expect Nothing.

5. Nothing is ‘wrong’ there’s only that which it does not serve us well and that which helps us become who we truly are and want to be.

6. The Wrong one is the Right one to lead you to the Best one.

7. Our feelings are the ultimate truth. The first, instinctual reaction is the truth.

8. Everything happening in our lives is for our own good and it can serve us well.

9. Obedience is not the ultimate goal, it’s when the rules/the commandments become our own that we truly got it.

10. We are all ONE, what one feels and experiences we are all affected by it.

11. The best way to help someone is to help them see and experience who they really are and their full potential.

12. LOVE EVERYTHING.

13. Charity= the ability to make life more meaningful for others.

14. Truth leads to Obedience and that’s how we’re set free.

15. Anger is Fear announced. When we have no needs outside of ourselves, then nothing can make us angry, cause we don’t need anyone to treat us in a certain way.

16. Everything we do in life is either out of Love or out of Fear.

The Really Good News is: Jesus Has Overcome the World

In John 16:33 Christ tells his disciples that in spite of the fact that the world will cause them great tribulations that they should be of good cheer for he has overcome the world.
I know that most focus on Jesus is centered on his suffering in Gethsemane, when crucified and at the Resurrection, all of which constitute the most glorious event of humanity, the Atonement.

But I think that before and in order for any of it to even be possible, Christ had to overcome the world!

And what does it mean to overcome the world? First, he had to be part mortal and human so that he would be prone to sin and temptation. Had it been any other way, then it would have been no great sacrifice nor conquer.

Second, Jesus wasn’t born all-learned and all-knowing, but through obedience, temperance, patience, love, hope and faith, he learned of his divine mission holding himself to that level.

And ultimately, he rose above all; in every instance he chose the highest way to deal with the situation. He didn’t make up excuses (even though he was also made of flesh), he didn’t allow the adversary to dictate his actions or thoughts (even though he was directly tempted by him).

I really don’t think it was any easier for him than it is for you and me to keep the commandments. If anything, it would have been a lot tougher because he was tempted a lot more intensely.

And yet, he had never given in, not once. Not a single bad thought about someone, not a single little gossip about somebody, not a moment of anger and loss of temper. After all, had any of these little slips occurred, the offering of him, as a sacrifice in our behalf would have not been acceptable anymore.

Because of all these implications I see Christ’s sacrifice as something beyond the last week of his life. His sacrifice had started at his birth, probably even before that, in the pre-mortal existence.

And I think that his constant commitment to being perfect for our sake is probably a greater sacrifice than even all the suffering and turmoil he’s gone through at the end.

But what empowered Christ to always choose right? What was the mental and spiritual place that he was coming from?

I think it all sprang out from a correct and deep understanding of his identity. I think he could overcome the world because he knew of the higher plan, of his relationship with the Father, of his relationship with us, and of the role he was to play in the whole plan.

I also don’t think that his ultimate goal was to solely be offered as a sacrifice for our sins and to live a perfect life, but I think his desire and hope is that by following his model we will also overcome the world.

He’s shown us how is done so that we can each attempt and even dare to try to overcome that which surrounds us. And although it is impossible, really, for you and me to succeed, on our own that is, he will compensate for the rest.

He wants us to become more and to be happier and the way to start is, just as he started it, to learn and experience our true identity. When we really understand who we are and who we can become, that’s when we become truly powerful, that’s when we dare to take the steps in overcoming the world.

YOU ARE ALREADY PERFECT!

I am sure that many of you are familiar with Jesus Christ’s admonition/commandment of being perfect even as he and God are. Yet I have sensed often times that people stray away from this topic. They either obsess over being perfect, and never feel enough, or they try to avoid it altogether knowing that the target is impossible to reach. You actually get to hear quite often the line that ‘it’s impossible for us to become perfect in this life’. Yet, the scriptures also teach us that God will never ask anything of us that we would not be able to deliver, creating an apparent discrepancy between the two.

What if I told you that you are already Perfect?! What would that do for you, how would you view yourself and life around you if you believed and knew that you are perfect?

Before continuing with this argument, I want to share with you a relative new definition of Perfection that I have discovered, which helped see everything in a new light. I think each one of us, as with many other abstract concepts, we have a very different definition of it based on own experiences.

Perfection= to finish, to bring to an end, completeness
Further definitions of perfection, which come from various philosophers, Aristotle being one of them, are:

1. That which is complete – contains all the requisite parts
2. That which is so good that nothing of the kind could be better
3. That which has attained its purpose
4. One that possesses that of which by its nature is capable
5. That which is better to have than not to have
6. That which has allowed the fullness of the qualities possible for it
7. That which is the best

So if being perfect means you’re working towards something more and you make the best of what you’ve been given, still having more to attain, doesn’t it qualify you and me of being Perfect?

I think our error in thinking that perfection is unattainable in this life is seeing it as a final destination that once reached then we can stop. But perfection never stops, and we can reach different levels of perfection, this life being one of them.

And what’s best about understanding perfection in this way, it only encourages me to try even harder rather than getting too overwhelmed by the task that I would give up before even starting it.

Things are not as bad as we pretend they are

One of the advantages of having been brought up in a foreign place is that it has offered me a unique perspective on life here in the United States of America.

I don’t know about you all, but reading the news daily it can become overwhelming considering both the volume and the nature of the stories. The predominant feeling being one of pessimism about the world in which we live, and a general acceptance of a doomed state we brought ourselves into without any possible way of escaping or improving it.

All the information I take in, it almost paralyzes me and for a second there I actually bite into it, feeling that there are no good or honest people left in our society. However, when I step back and look at the entire picture I quickly realize that the United States of America, and California for that matter, is having it really good. I realize that this system is still the most functional, that these politicians are still the most transparent and carrying towards the people. This is not just comparing it to other countries but also with other eras and civilizations.

The quality of life has never been this high; humanity has never had this much access to so much information and resources as we do today. We have just as much potential, if not even greater, that at any other time and place in history to succeed. Then how come the general attitude of both the media and its audience is that of an-ever-growing pessimism?

We shouldn’t allow anyone to dictate how we feel and how we perceive the world. It is in our own power to choose to appreciate life and what it has to offer, and to make the best of our circumstances.

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try to improve where we’re at, progress is eternal so we’re not quite there yet, but we can do so with a positive outlook and seeing how much we already have.

No one has ever and will never profit from a negative approach or perspective on things, so why make our lives even tougher? The power is in our hands and no one can do it for us.